These are my furry babies. I had to be very careful about sliding out from this cuddle so that I could get the picture.
I am just worn out. I know that I am not the only one that is physically tired from day to day living. Today was one of those very unproductive days that leave me feeling guilty. My daughter had her middle school enrollment this morning and that is pretty much the only thing I did. I am always telling other people that taking one day to sit and enjoy a good book or take a nap. However, if I take my own advice, I am full of guilt. This is one of those days, I feel asleep with my son, that was nice, but he must have got up because the next thing I know my phone is ringing and my friend tells me it is about 4:00.
I have never thought of myself as a Type-A personality but lately I am beginning to wonder if I am. Lately I have been having trouble dealing with things I can not control, it makes me insane. Yesterday I was asked if I was a perfectionist, I'm not sure, again I didn't think I was but .......... I asked my husband if he thought I was and he said, "You have a tendency to lean that way but not completely" OK, so maybe that 's a yes. hhhhhmmmm So the question is, how do I fix it?
I have not been myself the last few months. Usually I am the leader in all things goofy, trying to make people laugh, making it a point to embarrass my daughter in public but not lately. Now all I want to do is find a dark place to lay down and be by myself. I don't want to be around people, I don't feel like doing much of anything that I used to. I finally called a psychologist and made an appointment but left feel disappointed. I was told that they don't do the counseling that I was hoping for but he is more than happy to give me a few cards of therapists he recommends. He did talk with me for about an hour, however, then told me he feels I would benefit from antidepressants. First let me say that I have nothing against antidepressants, I took them while in nursing school, it is what helped me deal with school, full time job, kids, husband, clinicals, studying, etc etc. Anyway, I am having a really hard time getting myself to take them now. So, I have six cards of "good" therapists and a bag of medication. Not what I expected from this appointment but I guess it is a step in the right direction.